Totally alone

I remember sitting in the dark in the middle if the night in our living room. I was out of tears and far beyond angry. I'm not sure if there's an adjective for the rage I felt. I was really concerned for my sanity and I was crushed. That's when I decided that I would not tell a soul what was going on, not so great for the mental pain but I couldn't stand the thought of my children's disappointment. "White hot" pissed off is not the time to bear your soul or make life impacting decisions even if you're totally justified.